Kayaking Legends
extreme kayaking expedition to be the only people to circumnavigate St. John Island, that week
On December 22nd, 2009, hardcore expedition kayakers Lisa and Brian arrived on St John, in the US Virgin Islands. They chose this island because of it's rugged unforgiving terrain, and punishing heat. After so many world famous paddling exploits, they chose this harsh environment to test their will. The fact that Lisa's mother had rented a posh villa on the island for that week was purely coincidental, but served as an excellent pre-trip planning and training facility.
They struggled to understand the strange religious practices of the local residents.
Even at the supposedly safe villa, they constantly fought off multitudes of giant, flesh eating monitor lizards.
Complete planning required chartering a sailboat for an afternoon to gain important local information on the sea conditions they would face.
After long minutes of planning, they finally finished the purchase and careful packing of supplies. All of this food had to fit into one double kayak.
Unfortunately the helicopter that was scheduled to deliver their specially built carbon fiber unobtanium kayak was shot down over Columbia, so a last minute change of plan forced the rental of the best substitute to be obtained locally. Were it not for this turn of events, they certainly would have traveled at 12 knots. Still, they persevered, and pushed out the first miles on this remote coastline.
"Stop paddling, and move very quietly." Brian said suddenly, "See that ray shark below us, it hasn't seen us. If it looks up, we'll both be bloody hamburger before you can reach for your vest knife." Nobody breathed. They drifted over undetected waiting, praying, and then finally paddling off.
After pushing thier kayak, and their bodies, to the limit, at 4pm they'd reached the edge of the map, a tiny uninhabited island formerly know as 'witch island'. They'd been told their was a strong possibility of a clash with the rouge National Park Service, if they tried to camp on the beaches of St John, so they made a bold move to exploit this islands unknown status.
After a daring surf landing and dash up the beach Brian revealed the source of his anxiety. "Um, Lis, I'm not entire sure we are still in the United States." In evading the National Park Guerrillas Rangers, they risked potentially crossing the border into the hostile territory of the British Virgin Islands.
Their anxiety was compounded when they discovered this mysterious pile of bones that suggested the ritualistic killing of stone age inhabitants.
Lisa kept watch late into the evening....
While Brian erected their ultralight stealth jungle camp.
Despite it's tiny appearance, the hammock was luxuriously comfortable for two people...
...and at no point during the night did one person snap at another person causing one person to leave the hammock to shiver on the bare ground wrapped in a space blanket for the rest of the night.
The next morning after a meager breakfast of orange juice, granola bars, fresh fruit, smoked fish and chocolate, Brian and Lisa embarked on an additional challenge, a free diving circumnavigtion of Flannigan aka. 'Witch Island'. While performing their feat of aquatic endurance, they also scientifically documented the....
reclusive bluestripey
the ouchchristdammit urchin
the IcanswimbutIcanthide harrasme fish
the fearless blue toenibblers
the IsweartogodIwillbiteyouifyoupokemeonemoretime barricuda
The rare oneoffivepiecesofcoralintheentirecarribeanthathasntbeendraggedoverbyasailboatanchorchain coral.
which is a near cousin of the imonlyherebecauseIliveonananchorproofreef coral.
After an amazing two hours underwater without air even their massive trained lungs were on fire.
Lisa smiles triumphantly!
With only minimal supplies of beer, chocolate, and fresh olives remaining they pushed hard to complete the expedition, in two thirds of the time their original estimates.
On the long passage back the meciless sun trapped them on greasy seas.
Lisa had to dive over the side at regular intervals to sooth her burning muscles.
Through blistering heat and dehydrating salty tropical ocean, past wild and untamed coastlines, in treacherous and sometimes slightly bumpy water, our intrepid adventurers arrive back at the remote native village. They strode proud but cautious through the local inhabitants, keeping quiet to themselves as they ate their first real fried food in days. Yes, they had conquered an island, but what is an island, a coastline, a continent, but a window into the deep recesses of the human soul, a crucible where relationships are tested and bonds are formed. They had passed the test and would now join the ranks of countless other pasty white people before them who traveled to far off places to do silly things for no good reason at all.
Brian and Lisa are available for inspirational public speaking bookings.
This expedition sponsored by:
Cape Falcon Kayak
...and Lisa's Mom